Mystical Empress - Designing an Altar: Tribute to Beth

Alpha Women Seeking Loving Relationships

 

                     

                                                

                                                                   Athena warrior goddess

Alpha women are powerful, beautiful, confident, successful and.....leaders.  Life made them that way. Perhaps they were required to grow up much too early. Some even endured trauma.  Maybe they chose to be entrepreneurs or work in the corporate world. Whatever the motivating principle, alpha women made a choice to take life by the horns and steer it in the direction they chose.

Being a leader requires initiative, courage, and well, a little bit of bossiness.  Unfortunately, many of the traits alpha women have developed aren't really suitable for relationships with the opposite sex.  You see, alpha women seek strong alpha males, and these males will NOT be led or bossed.  It's really not her fault, she's just always found herself to be the most competent person around.  She's taken complete responsibility for so long that she has no idea how to share responsibility or walk beside anyone else.

In the alpha female's aggressive pursuit of goals, she may be labeled a "controlling bitch" by other, less dominating personalities. As alpha female myself, I began life as the "bossy" kid.  I had very clear goals, and I knew how to take decisive action to reach them.  In adulthood, I went on to form my own businesses.  While the alpha position awarded me friends, opportunities and business success, it wasn't a blessing to my love relationships.  It took me 8 years of being single that I came into my understanding of this alpha female mystique. 

As a single female weaving through the digital age of dating, I noticed that I had a very definitive pattern in romance. I'd pull tarot card readings on my love life, and I'd invariably pull the Queen of Swords.  I'd moan, "Not AGAIN! What am I doing wrong?" The Queen of Swords tarot card represents a woman alone;  an alone, "ball busting" woman.  The pattern didn't stop there.  I continuously attracted non-committal males who enjoyed passionate exchanges and MANY power struggles with me.  If they weren't abstaining from sex, they were refusing commitment.  In every scenario, one thing remained the same: the male was in control.  I also found that each paramour had the same background: an uber dominant mother. 

Interestingly, many males who are attracted to alpha women were raised in families where the mother was a dominant and controlling force in the family. So, he sees the alpha female lover and is at once, intrigued and threatened by her power.  For, he has learned that the female principle is uber powerful and capable of giving and taking life.  The problem with this scenario, however, is the emasculated, unconscious male tries to heal the earlier wound of mother by winning back his power and masculinity.  This dynamic creates many power struggles within adult relationships.  He may use emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual abuse against the alpha female to make her feel powerless so that he may avoid feelings of insecurity and abandonment. 

Another dysfunctional style of relating that the alpha female finds herself is with a passive, male who succumbs to her power.  In this relationship, the male often withdraws sexually as he feels emasculated by her dominance.  Her uber need to be in control turns her mate into a child asking, "Mother may I?" .  She wonders why she has to take care of everyone while no one is taking care of her.  However, she can't be parent and lover to her mate.

In my psychic based life coaching business, Mystical Empress, I guide people beyond their personal energy blocks toward the fulfillment of their dreams. During psychic readings and life coach sessions, I'm astonished to find a multitude of women clients who are struggling with what I call, "Alpha Female Mystique".  They don't need advice on how to run their careers.  They have that project already wrapped in a nice, tidy little package.  The only area of life they need guidance is in relationships.  What they long for is a compatible love relationship.  They too experience lots of power struggles and caretaking of their lovers.  It's a delicate balancing act for the Alpha female to take guidance from anyone else.  However, by the time she sees me, she's very aware that something significant must change for her to achieve her ever- illusive dream of love.  The pain has brought her to the beautiful, feminine space of surrender.

 

  Aphrodite Goddess of Love & Harmony                                     

Alpha women often forget they chose the gender of female in this lifetime.  Feminine energy is soft, creative and receptive, the opposite of masculine which is hard, destructive and aggressive.  Obviously there are warrior females, such as Athena, but take note: Athena was also a virgin goddess, (read-- no lover).  She was operating from her masculine side.   As a woman, the archetype we are seeking for our love relationships is the goddess, Aphrodite, who was the epitome of grace, harmony, and love.

If you are choosing a heterosexual, harmonious relationship, it's time to embrace the feminine, Aphrodite side of your nature.  Alpha females interpret those words to mean: "I must become weak".  NO, that is absolutely NOT what I'm suggesting.  You will still be an alpha female, but you will soften your edges somewhat and create your relationship desires in a much different way.  You are used to seeing masculine energy as powerful because it pushes to get things done.  When you push in relationship, you actually push it away.  Alternatively, feminine energy is actually more powerful  and gets more accomplished because it follows the Law of Attraction principles. 

Law of Attraction means exactly that!  Energy flows in the direction of the receptive, receiving principle.  As you become a magnet to your desires, they will naturally flow into you.  This new way of being will be a much calmer, less stressful way of life for you.  An old movie comes to mind, "Baby Boom" in which an uber alpha female, Diane Keaton, trades in her NYC corporate corner office to become a mom, raising an orphan on a farm in rural Vermont.  Through many trials, our alpha heroine, eventually surrenders to her more vulnerable feminine side and finds a mate who supports and nurtures her alpha personality.

I  often find alpha females to be suffering from depression and chronic diseases.  As Louise Hay suggests, "The body like everything else in life, is a mirror of our inner thoughts and beliefs...continuous modes of thinking and speaking produce body behaviors and postures and "eases" or dis-eases."  When we are operating against our own true nature, we become imbalanced physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. 

Feminine Approach to Relationship

• Allows the man to pursue her
• Takes a receptive stance to her male counterpart
• Seeks harmony and compromise, a win/win approach
• Shares her affection and sexuality as an act of love, not bartering
• Allows the man to lead or walk beside
• Treats the man as a man, not as her child to raise
• Shows nurturing and support as a lover
• Respects a man's biology of needing space to recharge his batteries
• Respects a man's ability to be an equal partner without criticizing and nagging him

 

Woman's Masculine Approach to Relationship

(not to be misinterpreted as how a man would approach a woman in relationship; this is only

woman's misuse of the masculine energy principle).

• Chases the man as a goal to be won
• Takes an aggressive, active stance toward her partner
• Creates right/wrong situations
• Withholds sex and affection as a weapon or bartering tool
• Leads and directs the man in all areas, including his own personal choices
• Controls the man, treating him like a child
• Offers caretaking and problem solving as a parent
• Challenges, fights, and guilts the man when he seeks his personal space
• Treats the man as inferior to her superiority by ridicule and chastisement

Every relationship is a mirror of who you are at any given moment.  If you'd like to argue the point, take a look at your relationship history.  See a pattern?  Why do you think you continue to attract similar men or similar situations? Instead of casting the blame on the men, (which isn't going to fix anything), look at your own reflection.  The sooner you take responsibility for these creations, the quicker you can move into your ideal relationship.  One thing is guaranteed: as you shift yourself, you will begin attracting different men and different relationships.

I have complete faith you can learn to move into a more feminine, balanced approach to relationship and attract your ideal love.  Why? Because I know you are masterful at achieving your goals. :)  

Mystical Love Blessings,
Brenda Renee'

www.mysticalempress.com

Animals as Spirit Messengers

Choose any New Age topic: Tarot, Astrology, Dream Interpretation, Magic,or Feng Shui--they all include some form of animal symbolism.  Tarot cards illustrate animals; astrology defines animal zodiac signs; dream interpretation examines animal roles in dreams; magic applies animal bones and feathers; and Feng Shui incorporates animal symbols in the home and landscape.

Each animal species has its own unique symbolic language.  Most people surround themselves by animals, either living-breathing animals or animal art images.  People throw tiger print rugs on their floor.  They make special beds for dogs. They include koi ponds in their landscape. They hang paintings of deer.  Seldom, do they realize that every animal has a specific message.

Animals serve as bridges between the spirit world and the world we live in.  Driving out of town, you spot a deer standing on the side of the road.  That deer is bringing you a message.  The owl you hear "whoooo-whooing" in the middle of the night has a message for you to hear.  These animal encounters are specific Spirit messages that currently apply to your life.

The animals that attract you also bring special gifts to your life path.  Do you own a collection of elephant statues?  Have you always loved monkeys?  Do you breed exotic birds? These animals serve as guardian guides that share specific talents and skills for  your  life path.  As you begin to understand the message of your admired animals, you will most likely find similar personality traits in yourself.

Let's use the well known mockingbird as an example.  First, you will want to study the animal species' behavioral patterns and appearance.  Study its selection of food, mates, habitat, and coloring. Mockingbirds feed on berries and live insects.  From overhead, the mockingbird spots an insect on the ground.  The bird will land on the ground, lifting its wings to provoke the insect into movement. Once the bug moves, the mockingbird gobbles it up.  Sometimes, we may need to "flush" out information that is necessary to our goals.

Mockingbirds are best known for their beautiful song that mimics just about every other bird in the neighborhood, hence the name "mocking".  They sing in gratitude for the mate they know is out there and waiting.  Their nests are built in trees that are not far from human dwellings, revealing their boldness and lack of fear.  Mockingbirds are master communicators, revealing a greater need to understand language and how to communicate more confidently and  effectively.

After you've established your animal's characteristics, you may wish to study any cultural or mythological significance attached to the animal.  Mockingbirds have been known as good luck omens, and to kill a mockingbird warrants swift punishment, as evidenced in Harper Lee's To Kill A Mockingbird.  I once had an experience with this sort of karmic justice.  As a tomboy, I spent most of my early years paling around with boys.  One summer I was walking in the woods with my close friend, Brian.  Much to my chagrin, he thought it would be fun to shoot a mockingbird!  As soon as the bird fell, I scolded, "You KNOW that was bad luck!!!"  About 10 minutes later, Brian propped his gun on the toe of his boot.  Somehow the gun went off and the bullet zoomed into his boot.  I helped him out of the woods, told his mother, and she drove us to the doctor's office.  Luckily for Brian, the bullet went between his first two toes only scraping the skin.

Vertebrates are easy to understand in symbolic significance.  But what about insects?  Insects are usually seen as unwanted pests, unless they appear in the pretty package of a butterfly.  However, even seemingly "nuisance" insects come with a message.  Termites are feared by homeowners because they come in and destroy the home's structure.  They don't play around!  Thus, it is not advisable to ignore their appearance.  Termites live in the dark and cannot survive in the light.
Untruths cannot survive the light, either.  If your home is threatened by termites, you may want to look at some very important issues threatening the "bones" of your life, relationship, or family.

Pets show different aspects of our personalities.  Cat people are mysterious, intuitive or aloof.
They're more reserved in temperament.  On the contrary, dog people are fun-loving, loyal, gregarious, or family oriented.  People who love horses require lots of freedom and movement.  They need the space for freedom of expression.  Fish lovers may be elusive and difficult to pin down, or they may be very intuitive and spiritual.

Although living breathing animals bring messages, so do animal images found in art.  For Feng Shui work, we specifically bring animal images into the home for specific energy activation.  Deer are associated with gentleness and good health.  Dragons represent magic, good luck and wisdom.
Paired mandarin ducks represent happy marriage.  The next time you see Asian artwork.  Notice the plants and animals on the piece.  Rest assured, the artist knew exactly what each item symbolized.

Begin reviewing animals that have always drawn you; look around your home at the animal symbols you use to decorate.  Learn about each animal's habitat and habits.  For a more detailed explanation of animal symbolism and reference guide: see Ted Andrews' Animal Speak  and Animal Wise.  You will find the silent messages that have always surrounded you.

Blessings,
Brenda Renee'
Mystical Empress
www.mysticalempress.com